the age of chivalry and play

in her testimonial during sunday church service, a day after her 22nd birthday, my friend talked about her life, how it was changed by her faith and how much blessings she received.she said that she'd been happy because all her dreams came true but then wondered if it was because she dreamt too little.i loved that line the moment i heard it and everytime i repeat it in my mind, i am struck by the same question, the same challenge(?).
especially now, as i am confronted with the breadth of my own imagination and my faith and equally, the depth of my courage to pursuit it.sometimes i wonder if this newfound cautiousness isn't cynicism or wariness that makes me think twice, thrice or many more times before i take any step.and if this so-called patience and nonchalance isn't fear and cowardice masking itself as hard-learned lessons in sensibility and maturity.
because regardless of what most people see or hear, i still have these same dreams, the same bated breath, that cheek-flushing, pulse-racing, speechless reaction.that even when i say i have nothing to say, it takes a lot more from me than when i say otherwise.and all this attempts at restraint and feigned unawareness are wearing me out.
but i have my reasons for doing these.well, for one, because it's safe to remain unaffected and unruffled, watching people get on with their lives and calling occassional shots of wisdom and some commentary.but more importantly because i reconize that there are more important tasks to be taken care of, little and not-so-little details to take care of before i take on this.and because i realize that there is a whole life waiting ahead of me and i don't have to rush into anything .because things have a way of falling into place and by then, i too will know and act the way that is in sync with the whole thing.but for now, i am just content, happy and thankful.and yes, playful and mischievous.
my friend ended her testimonial encouraging us to venture to further seas and to dream of bigger things.i will.oh i will.
*****
and while i am for for independent and empowered women and equal gender rights, i am not entirely oblivious or unaware of litttle acts of chivalry.the other night on starstruck(yes, i am that jologs), in the middle of the race, chris paused, went down on his knees and tied the shoelace of his partner who most of the other contestants in the show didn't like.my friend says he must've done it for show.i, of course, refuse to believe it.how many people, in the middle of a race, would not only pause for someone but actually tie their shoelaces for them?i know i wouldn't.that's why i say, my hero!
knight-in-shining-armor moment #2, in my old office's sportsfest last year, one of my officemates sprained her ankle during a volleyball game.he went down on his knees(notice a trend?) and massaged my friend's ankle.at that time, i nearly swooned.
and recently,in my continuing battle with moonface, my team lead has joined the cause if only to defend our group and has included in his review regarding my boss the laptop incident.i wanted to applaud and say, hurrah, hurrah.
and so chivalry lives on, no longer because of knights in shining armor that charge on mightily but because of ordinary men who inspite of their little weaknesses still manage to have these monumental moments.