book-signings and a fan mail
last week when my parents came over for a visit, my mom bought several copies of the book to give away to family friends and old teachers.so during their last night with us, i was trying to come up with witty,sincere and pleasant dedication to write on each book.i don't mind seeing my name in print, which is an understatement considering i've always loved attention and dreamt of stardom.and yes, i did text a couple of friends and engaged in shameless blog plug when i found out my poem was in the anthology.but signing a book(which isn't entirely mine) makes me uncomfortable and cringe at myself because i might seem too presumptuous and full of myself.it makes me feel too "poetish" which i am not.yet.
so after several minor skirmishes with my mom and more mental revisions, i came up with a template dedication - "i hope you like my poem as much as you liked the other poems in the anthology".looking back, i realized, that was presumptuous and ambitious considering most of the other poems were written by award-winning poets.anyway, one of the books i was composing a dedication for was a doctor friend my parents had and in the middle of writing the note, i remembered larry ypil's poem a-would-be-doctor-turned-writer writes to his friends.i thought it might strike a familiar chord with the doctor friend so i went up to the attic and looked for the old heights issue where the poem was published, copied it on some fancy paper and enclosed it along with the book.
now, when i was just starting to attempt to write poetry, i've had models i wanted to emulate like the bigwigs edith tiempo and eric gamalinda and ateneo writers like sir john, larry and mookie katigbak.i was envious of all these wonderful, breathtaking poems they wrote that i wanted to write wonderful, breathtaking poems too.although later on, someone would tell me that ateneo writers all sound the same, that if you've read one, you've pretty much heard them all.that is of course subject to debate.
rereading larry's poem reminded me of why i wanted to write in the first place and for a moment, i felt that same rush of wanting to write a poem that people couldn't forget, whose lines would echo in people's minds long after they've read it.
and today, i received a friendster message from some guy i've never met complimenting my essay which was published in youngblood 2.0.when i checked the guy's profile, i found out he's currently based australia and that the youngblood books were on his list of favorite books.and also, that he's 26 and single.syempre ang haba ng hair ko diba?
but seriously, i've already forgotten about that particular milestone and because rereading that essay now, i feel that it's too juvenile.and here i sound as if i'm some seasoned, mature writer.i was 15 at that time i wrote the essay at the height of the 1998 election fever.and i only submitted it because my english teacher promised to give extra credit points if we get published.although i never got the extra points because it was published during the summer.and two years later, when i was enrolling in the ateneo, i found out that the essay was going to be included in the second Youngblood anthology.
i remember attending the launch in powerbooks with my roommates anchit and irene where i got a free copy of the book and an inquirer shirt.some of the writers read excerpts from their piece and there was also some book-signing at the end of the program.i was even in one of the pictures they published in the paper the next day, partly covered by one of speakers in front.
it's nice to have these reminders of moments when you've accomplished some extraordinary feat and everything seemed possible, especially at this point in my life when i feel that i haven't done enough or too well.just the other day i was already thinking how at 21,i don't seem to be accomplishing as much as people my age.nothing works wonders to the ego like a compliment from a stranger or acts of self-gratification like signing a book.it's nice to recall the things that once and perhaps still leave us in awe, that inspire us to dream big, extraordinary dreams and sometimes, that help us achieve them.
two "signs" in less than a week.i wonder if this isn't a subtle nudge from the universe to take on something i thought i've already given up on.maybe it still isn't too late for that stardom thing.
so after several minor skirmishes with my mom and more mental revisions, i came up with a template dedication - "i hope you like my poem as much as you liked the other poems in the anthology".looking back, i realized, that was presumptuous and ambitious considering most of the other poems were written by award-winning poets.anyway, one of the books i was composing a dedication for was a doctor friend my parents had and in the middle of writing the note, i remembered larry ypil's poem a-would-be-doctor-turned-writer writes to his friends.i thought it might strike a familiar chord with the doctor friend so i went up to the attic and looked for the old heights issue where the poem was published, copied it on some fancy paper and enclosed it along with the book.
now, when i was just starting to attempt to write poetry, i've had models i wanted to emulate like the bigwigs edith tiempo and eric gamalinda and ateneo writers like sir john, larry and mookie katigbak.i was envious of all these wonderful, breathtaking poems they wrote that i wanted to write wonderful, breathtaking poems too.although later on, someone would tell me that ateneo writers all sound the same, that if you've read one, you've pretty much heard them all.that is of course subject to debate.
rereading larry's poem reminded me of why i wanted to write in the first place and for a moment, i felt that same rush of wanting to write a poem that people couldn't forget, whose lines would echo in people's minds long after they've read it.
and today, i received a friendster message from some guy i've never met complimenting my essay which was published in youngblood 2.0.when i checked the guy's profile, i found out he's currently based australia and that the youngblood books were on his list of favorite books.and also, that he's 26 and single.syempre ang haba ng hair ko diba?
but seriously, i've already forgotten about that particular milestone and because rereading that essay now, i feel that it's too juvenile.and here i sound as if i'm some seasoned, mature writer.i was 15 at that time i wrote the essay at the height of the 1998 election fever.and i only submitted it because my english teacher promised to give extra credit points if we get published.although i never got the extra points because it was published during the summer.and two years later, when i was enrolling in the ateneo, i found out that the essay was going to be included in the second Youngblood anthology.
i remember attending the launch in powerbooks with my roommates anchit and irene where i got a free copy of the book and an inquirer shirt.some of the writers read excerpts from their piece and there was also some book-signing at the end of the program.i was even in one of the pictures they published in the paper the next day, partly covered by one of speakers in front.
it's nice to have these reminders of moments when you've accomplished some extraordinary feat and everything seemed possible, especially at this point in my life when i feel that i haven't done enough or too well.just the other day i was already thinking how at 21,i don't seem to be accomplishing as much as people my age.nothing works wonders to the ego like a compliment from a stranger or acts of self-gratification like signing a book.it's nice to recall the things that once and perhaps still leave us in awe, that inspire us to dream big, extraordinary dreams and sometimes, that help us achieve them.
two "signs" in less than a week.i wonder if this isn't a subtle nudge from the universe to take on something i thought i've already given up on.maybe it still isn't too late for that stardom thing.
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